1) Someone walks right into your house uninvited. You
Just let them be... No, kill them! no, wait...
Make them kiss my feet as they should.
Groan one or two words but lavish them with useful items.

2) End of the world (predictably)
Must attend the reunion...
I'm going to stop it! I forget why...
HELLO! I already knew that! It's my doing, after all.

3) Your best friend falls from a bridge, you're
Right behind him.
Regarding the hand that missed his blankly. You really are a failure...
Who needs friends?

4) Choice occupation?
Whatever he tells me to be.
... who cares? I wouldn't be any good at it anyway...
God.

5) You are...
A failure
Whatever I'm told.
God.

6) Er... Has anyone ever told you that you have problems?
They kinda looked at me funny...
I can't do anything right.
Who cares what they think? I am above their petty opinions.